I am not a shy girl. I've been known to make friends anywhere; I've even made friends at the doctor's office. Seriously. But, it's one thing to chat up the person sitting next to you in the waiting room and an entirely different thing to take that conversation from "Oh yeah? You grew up where? Do you know so and so? Oh, they called your name? Take care!" to "Hey, would you like to exchange numbers and hang out sometime?" Some people would respond positively to that. A great many others would just think you were a weirdo.
So, one of my biggest fears in moving from New Jersey to Florida (and wayyyyyy far out of my comfort zone...like thousands of miles away from my comfort zone) was leaving my support system and growing a new one.
When you're young, it's pretty easy to make friends. You're next door neighbors, you're in the same classes, you like the same activities, you go to the same school, you live in the same dorm...these scenarios are built in friend makers. You're all going through the same thing at the same time, and, therefore, you are all open and ready to making new friendships and inviting new people into your life. No one thinks you're weird if you're 8 years old and inviting your classmate over to play. No one thinks you're weird if you're in high school and asking the girl in your algebra class to hang out after school one day. No one thinks you're weird if you ask the girl next door in your college dorm to go to the dining hall together or to the party on campus together. Those things are normal.
But, take yourself out of those scenarios. You are an adult--with kids, a career, a husband, and a life. Where do you meet people? Sure, you'll meet people at work, but rarely do work friendships turn into outside-of-work friendships. You'll definitely meet the moms of your kids' friends, but those moms may not be looking for new friends, and just because your kids like each other, doesn't mean you will be insta-friends. It just means you may awkwardly sit at a park together somewhere, making painful small talk while your kids play.
And, so, back to my concern...who would I hang out with when I need nights away from my kids? Who could I count on to come over and hang out with me on nights when my husband is away and I just need some girl talk? Who would be my local go-to when I've had a bad day, a good day, or just a day that I want to talk about? Who could I call and say "Hey, want to meet the kids and me for breakfast?" And, who could I count on when I'm in a pinch and need someone to watch the kids last minute?
I was afraid I'd be very lonely in paradise.
I have a few friends who knew people down here who made introductions, and I have a few friends I've known who have moved to this area. But, everyone has their own lives, and, well, I can't blame them if I'm not a priority.
But, despite all of that, despite all of my fear and anxiety, I got lucky.
I had the fortune to meet two people who have become very important in my life. In both of these situations, it was one of those where you instantly knew that this person was going to become one of your nearest and dearest. And, in both situations, I became incredibly close with my new friends in a quick amount of time. It feels like I've known these amazing ladies forever, and I often forget that they didn't help me live my history, they don't know my story, and haven't met most of my important people.
I met my first dear friend when I was picking out cabinets, tile, and other goodies for my new home. She was doing the same. We happened to be building the same model home in the same neighborhood. We bonded over cabinets, and that night, she and her husband invited me and my husband to dinner. We graciously accepted the invitation, and what was a "first date" turned into a three hour dinner, full of laughter and joy. Every subsequent trip to Florida before the big move included time with them, and when we were in separate states, texts and phone calls became a common occurrence. They have become some of our dearest friends in the world; it's strange if we go a week without seeing them and more than a day without talking.
I met my second dear friend because she was assigned to be my mentor at work. When I was hired at my new position, I just kept hearing about this one teacher that everyone said I was going to get along great with. On the flip side, she kept hearing about this new hire who she was totally going to hit it off with. Well, I was nervous. What if I didn't like her--or worse, what if she didn't like me? What if it was one of those instances where everyone thought we'd be great friends, but in reality, we couldn't stand each other? We met a few weeks before school started to do a little work on our shared course. We ended up doing very little work and quite a lot of chatting. By the end of that meeting, we were already old friends, and by the first day of school, we were inseparable. We are even already at the point where we finish each other's...sandwiches. (Just kidding...this isn't Frozen! We just finish each other's sentences.) We look forward to seeing each other each day, talk after work, hang out on the weekends, and even our kids are friends.
So, while no one can replace my New Jersey support system, I am so glad that my fears were unfounded. I have met some amazing people, and my world is so much richer for having them in it. This is just one more reason I'm glad my family took the leap and moved to Florida.
So, one of my biggest fears in moving from New Jersey to Florida (and wayyyyyy far out of my comfort zone...like thousands of miles away from my comfort zone) was leaving my support system and growing a new one.
When you're young, it's pretty easy to make friends. You're next door neighbors, you're in the same classes, you like the same activities, you go to the same school, you live in the same dorm...these scenarios are built in friend makers. You're all going through the same thing at the same time, and, therefore, you are all open and ready to making new friendships and inviting new people into your life. No one thinks you're weird if you're 8 years old and inviting your classmate over to play. No one thinks you're weird if you're in high school and asking the girl in your algebra class to hang out after school one day. No one thinks you're weird if you ask the girl next door in your college dorm to go to the dining hall together or to the party on campus together. Those things are normal.
But, take yourself out of those scenarios. You are an adult--with kids, a career, a husband, and a life. Where do you meet people? Sure, you'll meet people at work, but rarely do work friendships turn into outside-of-work friendships. You'll definitely meet the moms of your kids' friends, but those moms may not be looking for new friends, and just because your kids like each other, doesn't mean you will be insta-friends. It just means you may awkwardly sit at a park together somewhere, making painful small talk while your kids play.
And, so, back to my concern...who would I hang out with when I need nights away from my kids? Who could I count on to come over and hang out with me on nights when my husband is away and I just need some girl talk? Who would be my local go-to when I've had a bad day, a good day, or just a day that I want to talk about? Who could I call and say "Hey, want to meet the kids and me for breakfast?" And, who could I count on when I'm in a pinch and need someone to watch the kids last minute?
I was afraid I'd be very lonely in paradise.
I have a few friends who knew people down here who made introductions, and I have a few friends I've known who have moved to this area. But, everyone has their own lives, and, well, I can't blame them if I'm not a priority.
But, despite all of that, despite all of my fear and anxiety, I got lucky.
INCREDIBLY, BEAUTIFULLY LUCKY.
I had the fortune to meet two people who have become very important in my life. In both of these situations, it was one of those where you instantly knew that this person was going to become one of your nearest and dearest. And, in both situations, I became incredibly close with my new friends in a quick amount of time. It feels like I've known these amazing ladies forever, and I often forget that they didn't help me live my history, they don't know my story, and haven't met most of my important people.
I met my first dear friend when I was picking out cabinets, tile, and other goodies for my new home. She was doing the same. We happened to be building the same model home in the same neighborhood. We bonded over cabinets, and that night, she and her husband invited me and my husband to dinner. We graciously accepted the invitation, and what was a "first date" turned into a three hour dinner, full of laughter and joy. Every subsequent trip to Florida before the big move included time with them, and when we were in separate states, texts and phone calls became a common occurrence. They have become some of our dearest friends in the world; it's strange if we go a week without seeing them and more than a day without talking.
I met my second dear friend because she was assigned to be my mentor at work. When I was hired at my new position, I just kept hearing about this one teacher that everyone said I was going to get along great with. On the flip side, she kept hearing about this new hire who she was totally going to hit it off with. Well, I was nervous. What if I didn't like her--or worse, what if she didn't like me? What if it was one of those instances where everyone thought we'd be great friends, but in reality, we couldn't stand each other? We met a few weeks before school started to do a little work on our shared course. We ended up doing very little work and quite a lot of chatting. By the end of that meeting, we were already old friends, and by the first day of school, we were inseparable. We are even already at the point where we finish each other's...sandwiches. (Just kidding...this isn't Frozen! We just finish each other's sentences.) We look forward to seeing each other each day, talk after work, hang out on the weekends, and even our kids are friends.
So, while no one can replace my New Jersey support system, I am so glad that my fears were unfounded. I have met some amazing people, and my world is so much richer for having them in it. This is just one more reason I'm glad my family took the leap and moved to Florida.
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