Making Friends

I am not a shy girl. I've been known to make friends anywhere; I've even made friends at the doctor's office. Seriously. But, it's one thing to chat up the person sitting next to you in the waiting room and an entirely different thing to take that conversation from "Oh yeah? You grew up where? Do you know so and so? Oh, they called your name? Take care!" to "Hey, would you like to exchange numbers and hang out sometime?" Some people would respond positively to that. A great many others would just think you were a weirdo.

So, one of my biggest fears in moving from New Jersey to Florida (and wayyyyyy far out of my comfort zone...like thousands of miles away from my comfort zone) was leaving my support system and growing a new one.

When you're young, it's pretty easy to make friends. You're next door neighbors, you're in the same classes, you like the same activities, you go to the same school, you live in the same dorm...these scenarios are built in friend makers. You're all going through the same thing at the same time, and, therefore, you are all open and ready to making new friendships and inviting new people into your life. No one thinks you're weird if you're 8 years old and inviting your classmate over to play. No one thinks you're weird if you're in high school and asking the girl in your algebra class to hang out after school one day. No one thinks you're weird if you ask the girl next door in your college dorm to go to the dining hall together or to the party on campus together. Those things are normal.

But, take yourself out of those scenarios. You are an adult--with kids, a career, a husband, and a life. Where do you meet people? Sure, you'll meet people at work, but rarely do work friendships turn into outside-of-work friendships. You'll definitely meet the moms of your kids' friends, but those moms may not be looking for new friends, and just because your kids like each other, doesn't mean you will be insta-friends. It just means you may awkwardly sit at a park together somewhere, making painful small talk while your kids play.

And, so, back to my concern...who would I hang out with when I need nights away from my kids? Who could I count on to come over and hang out with me on nights when my husband is away and I just need some girl talk? Who would be my local go-to when I've had a bad day, a good day, or just a day that I want to talk about? Who could I call and say "Hey, want to meet the kids and me for breakfast?" And, who could I count on when I'm in a pinch and need someone to watch the kids last minute?

I was afraid I'd be very lonely in paradise.

I have a few friends who knew people down here who made introductions, and I have a few friends I've known who have moved to this area. But, everyone has their own lives, and, well, I can't blame them if I'm not a priority.

But, despite all of that, despite all of my fear and anxiety, I got lucky.

INCREDIBLY, BEAUTIFULLY LUCKY.

I had the fortune to meet two people who have become very important in my life. In both of these situations, it was one of those where you instantly knew that this person was going to become one of your nearest and dearest. And, in both situations, I became incredibly close with my new friends in a quick amount of time. It feels like I've known these amazing ladies forever, and I often forget that they didn't help me live my history, they don't know my story, and haven't met most of my important people.

I met my first dear friend when I was picking out cabinets, tile, and other goodies for my new home. She was doing the same. We happened to be building the same model home in the same neighborhood. We bonded over cabinets, and that night, she and her husband invited me and my husband to dinner. We graciously accepted the invitation, and what was a "first date" turned into a three hour dinner, full of laughter and joy. Every subsequent trip to Florida before the big move included time with them, and when we were in separate states, texts and phone calls became a common occurrence. They have become some of our dearest friends in the world; it's strange if we go a week without seeing them and more than a day without talking.

I met my second dear friend because she was assigned to be my mentor at work. When I was hired at my new position, I just kept hearing about this one teacher that everyone said I was going to get along great with. On the flip side, she kept hearing about this new hire who she was totally going to hit it off with. Well, I was nervous. What if I didn't like her--or worse, what if she didn't like me? What if it was one of those instances where everyone thought we'd be great friends, but in reality, we couldn't stand each other? We met a few weeks before school started to do a little work on our shared course. We ended up doing very little work and quite a lot of chatting. By the end of that meeting, we were already old friends, and by the first day of school, we were inseparable. We are even already at the point where we finish each other's...sandwiches. (Just kidding...this isn't Frozen! We just finish each other's sentences.) We look forward to seeing each other each day, talk after work, hang out on the weekends, and even our kids are friends.

So, while no one can replace my New Jersey support system, I am so glad that my fears were unfounded. I have met some amazing people, and my world is so much richer for having them in it. This is just one more reason I'm glad my family took the leap and moved to Florida.

Welcome to My New Life...

Hi. Let me introduce myself. I'm Stacy. Mom of twins, high school teacher, reader, knitter, friend, daughter, wife, blogger (Want to see my other blog that I write with my BFF? Of course you do! Just click here...). The list goes on and on. But, there's one other thing I want to address...I'm a New Jersey native, Florida transplant. What a strange turn of events that was...

But, it happened.

I moved from New Jersey (living in the town where I was born & raised) to Florida just a few short weeks ago. I never planned to leave New Jersey, and, in fact, I had lived in the Northeast my entire life. I had a good life there; my family was nearby, I had lots of good friends, and a good job. But, if there's one thing I've learned throughout my years on this earth, it's that you never know where life is going to take you, and you most certainly are never going to end up where you thought you would.

Which takes me to now...here I am--a resident Floridian.

I've always loved Florida. My grandparents lived here (ironically in the town I am living in) and I absolutely loved visiting them. I was envious of my cousin who grew up here--he could be outside year round, he got his license a full year before me, even though he's younger, and it just seemed like a really cool life. When I would visit my grandparents in my twenties, I always thought that I could live here someday. But, it was more of an abstract thing, and I never thought that I'd actually do it.

Until I did.

As I said earlier, you never know where life is going to take you. Flashback to 2015. My husband and I were living in a beautiful home. It was supposed to be our forever home. It was where we were raising our kids, and where we had done many improvements to make our home just that, ours--and there were many more projects in the works. And then...things changed. Our neighborhood changed. Due to that, we sold the house. When we were putting the house on the market, we had to decide where we were going to go. We didn't want to stay in the town we were in, so my husband suggested Florida. I looked at him like he had seven heads, and then I cried. I literally cried. (For the record, I am not a cryer.) I'm one of those people who reacts first, then thinks things out. When I calmed down and started thinking, I realized that it might actually be a good idea. I finally said to my husband, "We only live once. Let's do it."

So we did.

Fast forward a year and here we are. Living in Florida. Living a life I never expected to have. New job, new friends, and my family is far away.

But...it's an amazing life. I am the happiest I've been in a long time. (Maybe it's all the sunshine...I do say that I'm solar powered, after all!) So, here's to big changes, shaking things up, and seeing where life will take you.

So, to (finally) get to my point...I am starting this blog as a way to share my thoughts and my world. Because if one thing is true about Jersey girls, it's that we don't hold our tongues.

Until my next post...